Attention: American Idol Contestants

It is clear you need a list of artists whose songs you should avoid:

• Celine Dion
• Whitney Houston
• Mariah Carey

You cannot possibly sing as well as them. The only way you are going to get away with it is to do it in a different style, but that is really dangerous too.

This is the fourth year of the competition. You should have seen enough others try something similar and fail.